Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
