so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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