nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
