I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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