when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
