The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
