kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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