In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
