I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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