some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
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