god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he was CRYING into my vagina
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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