i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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