Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
