oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
