i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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