I must be too annoying 4 u.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
