the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
