Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
