At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
