you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
