The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
