just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
