Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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