I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
