Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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