I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize