remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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