how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
