I'm really into asian looking animals
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
