So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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