The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize