Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
