So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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