There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
