Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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