can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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