Don't make out with my wife yet
Small penises have feelings too.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
