i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
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I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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