ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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