I wish i was in the wii world.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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