you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
