Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
