My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
