I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
