i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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