I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize