I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
