I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize