How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
