Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
