Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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