no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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