I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
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I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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