What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
