she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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