I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
