you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
