I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
