Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
