Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
