just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
