We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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